A man to Santa: Ur friend is kissing ur wife in ur home.
Santa rushes home and came back within half an hour n slapped the man n said:
He's not my friend.
Jeeto: Kal raat tum mujhe neend mein tumne mujhe gaaliyan di
Santa: Tumhari galat fahami hai.
Jeeto: Kaisi galatfahami?
Santa: Yehi ki mein soya tha.
Gal to Banta: Kya shaadi k baad bi tum muje itna pyar karoge?
Banta: Kyon nahin? Mein to diwana hoon shadi-shuda aurton ka.
Santa sent a SMS to his pregnant wife. Couple of seconds later he received a
report on his phone and he started to dance. The report said: 'Delivered'
Gurdas Maan: Santa ji, aapke bhai ki shaadi mein kitne gaane gaane hain, us
hisab se rate lagega?
Santa: 2-3 gaa kar prg shuru kar dena, baad mein sharabi baraat ne generator ki
awaaz par hi naachte rehna hai
Santa to Pappu: Where's Sukhna Lake?
Pappu: Pata nahi.
Santa: Kabhi ghar se bhi nikla karo.
Pappu: Who's Banta?
Santa: Pata nai.
Pappu: Kabhi ghar me bhi raha karo.
An Englishman and Santa inside the toilet.
Englishman: Good evening, how do u do?
Santa: Gud evening, we open the zip and do.
Pappu was writing his father's name on a 1000 Watt bulb.
Santa asked him: What are you doing?
Pappu: Aapka naam roshan kar raha hoon.
Santa: Yaar mein apni girlfriend nu gift dena hai, ki devan?
Banta: Gold ring de de.
Santa: Koi vadi cheez das yaar.
Banta: Tan fer MRF da tyre de de.
Santa: Sir hun meri salary wada diyo, mera vyah ho gaye hai.
Boss: Factory de bahar hon wale hadseyan layi factory jimmevar nahin hundi
Santa dials a number. A girl receives the call.
Santa: Who r u? Girl: Seeta here.
Santa: Maine to Chandigarh phone kiya tha, yeh to Ayodhya mil gaya
Banta asked Santa: Why Manmohan Singh goes for a walk in evening?
Santa: Very simple, because he is PM not AM
An Englishman and Santa inside the toilet.
Englishman: Good evening, how do u do?
Santa: Gud evening, we open the zip and do.
Teacher: What should be in a book to make it a bestseller?
Pappu: A girl on the cover and no cover on the girl.
Santa ke bagiche mein bahut sare ped - paude thay, Santa naukar ko bola
ped-paudon ko pani dal.
Naukar: Sahab baarish ho rahi hai.
Santa: Abe to Chatri leke dal.
Teacher: I want you to tell me the longest sentence you can think of.
Pappu: Life imprisonment!
Santa was drawing money from ATM. Banta, who was just behind him in the line
said: I've seen ur password. It’s ****. Sant: U r wrong. It’s 1394.
Santa walks into a library & says, "Can I have a burger and coke?" Librarian,
"I'm sorry, this is a library." Santa whispers, "Can I have a burger & fries?"
Q: Why did Santa take his pregnant wife Jeeto to Pizza Hut? A: Because they
advertised: 'Free Delivery'
Santa (reading from book of facts): "Do you know that every time I breathe a man
dies?" Banta: "Why don't you use a mouth wash?"
