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It has long been argued that single moms cannot raise emotionally and physically
healthy normal men and that their sons tend to have an effeminate side to their
personalities. However, mom and son families are increasing day-by-day and the
myths are breaking. More and more sons raised by women single-handedly have
attained success in their lives and are counted as some of the most desirable
men across the nations. Some of the most famous celebrities raised by single
moms are Bill Clinton, Bill Cosby, Tom Cruise and Les Brown. That does not mean
that it is an easy task either. Here are some tips from single mothers of sons
that you can use to help your boy develop like any other child with a father as
a role model:
* Accept that your son can have differences of perception and the ways in which
he reacts to things than you, just because he is a boy.
* Boys are generally more active than girls and they may need to release this
excessive energy with vigorous exercises. So a home gym for boys and the right
kind of exercises can keep your son active and healthy too.
* Children need to be nurtured and your little son is still not ready to should
the responsibilities of adults such as your confidant or your rescuer. Never
make statements or allow other to make statements like he ‘is the man around the
house’ and should or need to ‘take care of Mommy’.
* If your child resembles his father, you might get emotional sometimes just
seeing his face. It is okay. But also let your son know how much you value him.
* In case of Father-son events, ask the coach or the troop leader about your
single parent family and get the permission to make it a parent-child event.
This will give the essential boost to the self-esteem of our little boy.
* It is important to teach boys how guys go to potty or groom themselves but
that doesn’t mean that if your toddler is mimicking you wearing makeup or other
feminine activities, it’s panic time. Eventually, as your son will grow older,
he will learn the differences and shift to what all other boys do.
* It is not necessary that every father who lives at home ‘fathers’ the
children. Other males can also be good role models for your son such as a grand
parent, a close friend or a teacher. Let your son find his own role model in a
person to whom he really feels connected.
* Males respond to emotional situations differently and so may your son, but
this is not anything to think about when it comes to teaching him your values.
* Place high value on male-female relationships and try to forget d forgive men
who have hurt you in the past. Negative attitude toward men may never resolve
your problem but may not be healthy for your son’s growth and development.
* While you are trying to fulfill the responsibilities of both mom and dad at
once, do not feel guilty that your baby or toddler is missing out on something.
Instead, be open to discussions and do not try to focus that mom-son
relationships are the only ones that prosper. Give a realistic perspective to
the child, discuss and interact with all kinds of families. All families are
different and this is how the world is.
* You may help your child to learn to be a ‘boy’ by enrolling him group
activities for boys such as Cub Scouts. This will also give them a sense of
belonging.
* You may point out positive qualities in men, whenever you see them. For
example, point out that the ‘friendly’, ‘smiling’ or ‘attentive’ delivery boys
are nicer than the rude ones.
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