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When kids ask for the permission for dating for the first time and many times
after that, it is an emotional challenge for parents. They are worried sick for
the safety of their child going out alone with a friend, concerned about the
changing times and what kids might do in their absence, shocked and awed at how
swiftly their kids are growing, wonder whether this is the right age for them to
start going on dating and still try to walk the rope of parenting a teenager
while maintaining the balance between parental authority and let the child go
and give him or her the freedom to live his or her own life.
Some parents have set ideas about dating teens and they think that their child
will only be eligible for ‘going out’ when they are 15 or 16 but some others
insist that the decision of letting teenagers going out on a date really depends
on child’s maturity, which parents can assess easily by listening to them
properly. If you feel too comfortable about a young teen venturing out on a
date, perhaps it is not yet time to permit them to do so. Here are few hints
that will help you to handle dating teens:
* When your child asks you whether he or she can go out or go on a date, you can
ask your kid to explain what are their plans for the evening. You might not be
comfortable with a teen couple going on a long drive alone in the evening but
you may not mind giving them the permission to let them go to movies or for
bowling with a group of friends, who are all paired up.
* Though your teen may not like it but you can insist on knowing more about
their dates or inquire about them in a friendly manner, such as:
* The name of the person,
* Age of their date,
* Where they met for the first time,
* Where they are going,
* Is it a public or a lonely place, and
* What have they planned for the evening?
* It is important to discuss issues such as sex, unplanned pregnancy and
sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) in detail before your teenager starts
dating. If they resist, just do not allow them to go on the date.
* Whether it is a son or a daughter, you have to make sure and may need to tell
your child that having sex with date is not ‘necessary’ and it’s okay to say
‘no’. Tell them that dating does not mean that they have to accept any kind of
intimacy, including kissing and hugging, that they are not comfortable with.
* Communicate freely and honestly with your son or daughter and keep the lines
of communication open so that you can guide your teen anytime they want your
help.
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