|
Peer pressure is not always bad. Not all teens have similar cultural values and
moral systems. Mostly, being with friends only reinforce family values in teens
as they learn to form relationships, share and get involved with people their
own age and learn to live as an individual and not as a child who depends on his
parents for everything. However, it does have the potential to encourage problem
behaviors too. We need to understand and differentiate between positive and
negative peer influence. Teens need to steer their way through negative
influence and mingle more with positive peer groups.
Parents need to make teens understand about and make them aware of the realities
of peer and media pressure and challenge them to think in innovative ways and
make their own decisions without leaving behind their common sense and blindly
following the crowds. It has been seen that family problems such as financial
struggles or divorce of parents may prompt teens to look up to their peers for
emotional support and they start feeling closer to their friends than their
parents by high school years. Individual and family stress such as work stress,
marital dissatisfactions or increasing expenses, all play a role in
parent-adolescent conflicts.
These conflicts do not mean that parent adolescent relationship is about to
breakdown. It only means relationship negotiations and that parents need to
include adolescents in making decisions and setting rules that affect their
lives and share reins with them. In families, where parents and adolescents are
trapped in distressed relationships, there is emotional coldness, frequent angry
outbursts and disagreements, unresolved conflicts and withdrawal from family
life; teens are at high risk for various psychological and behavioral problems.
You need to be there for your child and teach them how to say ‘No’.
It is difficult to go against the wind but teens need to access their own
feelings, beliefs and sense of right and wrong carefully and use their inner
strength and self-confidence to take a firm stand, resist doing something they
don’t like or don’t want to and just walk away. Having a friend or peer with
similar values, who is ready to back up your child with his decision, can be a
great asset when it comes to resist peer pressure while a friend who cannot
resist peer pressure may become a burden on your kid. Still, if a teen is alone
and feels challenged with peer pressure, he needs to say ‘No’ and walk away and
perhaps mixing with bad apples or peers who pressurize him to go against his
will.
|