Just after remarriage, stepparenting usually means developing warm and friendly interaction with the child. Parents should not try to rush children into emotional closeness or try to exert parental authority over them. Let the relationships grow and mutual respect and affection get established, before stepparents try to come too close to children. In the beginning, children may not be comfortable with their step parents and resent being alone with them. This is the time for family group activities rather than trying to involve children in one-on-one activities. Use this period to learn about the child’s hobbies and interests and share talents and skills. Later when the bonds become stronger, one-to-one time will be more welcome.
Stepparents may monitor their kids such as knowing their daily routine, whereabouts of the children, their friends and extracurricular activities but should try not to pry into the emotional life of the child. Emotional closeness may not be welcome until the child is ready for it. Till then, step parents have to make do with checking kids’ homework and trying to befriend them and helping them with their daily chores. The best way to stepparent is to work initially through the children’s parent and maintain an emotionally distant and non-threatening relationship for about two years. After that, step parents may step into some more in direct childcare and rule setting. Spouses should mutually agree about the role shifting, support each other constantly and display marital consensus when the stepparent becomes more authoritative and involved with children.