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The argument on the validity of the statement of ‘Spare the rod and spoil the
child’ has been going on for ages. Many parents think that physical punishment,
such as spanking, sometimes becomes unavoidable and a ‘must’ to stop undesirable
behavior in a child. Experts say that physical punishments can make your child
stop a certain behavior but do not teach him to correct or change it. Our goal
while disciplining children should be to teach them to choose good behaviors and
avoid bad behavior of their own free will. Physical punishment can turn into
child abuse, becomes less effective with time and may make the child too
aggressive or timid. Here are some strategies that you can use for behavior
correction in children:
* Avoid power struggles, no-win situations and extremes with children and if you
do overreact, try to solve the problem as soon as possible.
* Children crave for your attention and deserve it too. Often touch your
children affectionately.
* Children have their own individual personalities. They may be shy, talkative,
active and/or introverts. You need to accept their basic personality traits as
they are, as you cannot alter them too much.
* Do not try to force the child until he becomes cranky or very bored or tired.
* Don’t be inconsistent with the reward or punishment method as it may confuse
your child.
* List important rules for your kids and include the rewards that your children
will get for following them or the punishments they may have to go through for
not following then. Go over them with your child.
* Never criticize your child in front of others.
* Never ever say the child is ‘bad’ when what you are trying to convey that his
behavior is bad.
* Offer child little choices frequently to make him feel that his decision is
also respected in the house, such as “what would you like to wear today - red
T-shirt or the black one?”
* Older children can discuss terms and conditions of rules while charting them
out but don’t debate on it at the time of misbehavior.
* Praise your child as often as he or she deserves it.
* While following routines and rituals develop into good habits, tell them
beforehand that it is soon time to do this or that such as “In five minutes, we
will go for a walk.”
These little tips will help your child to learn skills for a lifetime and they
will soon learn that they can reap rewards by good behavior but bad behavior
will make them undesirable and lonely.
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